Man of the Year: Barry Levinson and Technology

Formulaic, that's the word you want. Ask somebody under thirty to tell you what kind of story would entertain older people will like and they will use words along the lines of "corny" or "trite". What they mean is "formulaic". That's the perception, what you need is a movie with an old guy as lead actor, without any CGI nonsense and a script that reminds you of something you have seen before. I point this out because I recently saw Man of the Year starring Robin Williams and it struck as one of those movies that could only have been made because of the stereotype of older Americans, because young people think older people want to see movies that are formulaic. This is not a review of the film, by the way, this is a review of the perceptions that allowed this film to be made.

The movie was written by Barry Levinson, the man who made movies like the Addams Family and Envy, whose stock in trade seems to be American nostalgia, also known as old-people entertainment. Levinson makes movies directed at older people, people who stereotypically might be interested in a contemporary version of an old TV show, in older actors, or, in the case of Man of the Year, in politics. The movie takes a minor trend, that of stand-up comedians doing political commentary and blows it out of proportion by, well, making a movie out of it. The core of the movie is the idea that television fake-news hosts like Jon Stewart wield much political clout and something that maybe could happen as a result of this. Maybe one of these TV people could be elected president.

The means by which Levinson gets his movie president/ television commentator elected is a computer error in voting software. This is accomplished with the kind of extremely vague read-article-about-this-in-the-New-York-times-once jargon that makes it clear that Levinson knows nothing about how computers work, did not consult anybody who did, is not trying to convince anybody otherwise. This is where the age-gap is made clear. This is where you see Hollywood's stereotype of the older American and what they are interested in. This is why this movie will not, and cannot, appeal to very many under, say, fifty. Levinson's apparent ignorance is clear to anybody who uses computers regularly, and overwhelms the rest of the unfunny script.

The idea is that older people know nothing of technology, and are not interested in learning. Oh,and they are the only people interested in presidential politics, hence, a movie about presidential politics need not be technically accurate. Also, it does not have to be particularly funny since seniors laugh at anything Robin Williams says.

Technorati Tags: barry, levinson, movies, screenplay, writing, writer, writers, script, robin, williams, entertainment

Here is a list of words that the American Heritage Dictionaries people say every high school graduate should know, obvious link-bait, but I'll bite and I will re-use it for my own nefarious purposes. Of course, it's one of those lists that half the adult you know haven't heard either, even if they aren't particularly obscure.

Among the words:
nomenclature
nonsectarian
notarize
obsequious
oligarchy
omnipotent
orthography
oxidize
parabola
paradigm
parameter
pecuniary
photosynthesis
plagiarize
plasma
polymer
precipitous

Technorati Tags: words, vocabulary, reading, graduate, students, American, Heritage, Dictionary, books

STLtoday - News - Washington

Ideas to Fight Terrorism:

Arlan Andrews was describing his vision of mind-reading helmets for bomb-sniffing dogs when three Department of Homeland Security officials approached, arms full of paperbacks and seeking autographs.

Andrews and five colleagues are part of SIGMA, a self-described "think tank of patriotic science fiction writers." They rubbed elbows with Homeland Security officials, university researchers and the defense industry at the Homeland Security Science and Technology Stakeholders Conference this week.

Technorati tags: writer writing fiction

Technorati Tags: George, Lucas, writing, writer, screenwriting, script, screenplay,

George Lucas

You have to wonder what it is about men like George Lucas that makes what they have to sell so attractive to your ordinary person. I suspect that phenomena like the Star Wars movies have largely to do with a kind of mass hysteria, where individuals feel compelled to like something because a large number of other people like it, but still, what is it that gets that all started?

Lucas was no trailblazer, not in the true sense of the word anyway,he had the smart idea of using the old stories, the ones that have always worked and reworking them in new contexts, kind of like Bill Gates (maybe I am on to something here). He paid homage to old movies (writer's euphemism for "stole from"), who had paid homage to other older tales, everything from Vaudeville to Shakespeare.

The thing is that your average America youngster knows very little about what came before him, so even the corniest, played-out shit is new to the next generation. The average older person is not inclined to like anything new because that's just the way you are when you get old, so stuff that feels familiar is attractive to them. You can recycle everything to make it popular, in fact, that is the only thing that will be popular, shit that people have seen or heard before (see your latest Top 40 charts for confirmation of this). You can re-make Casablanca as an interracial romance or a sci-fi western and somebody will think it is fresh. George Lucas is a genius, yes, but at recycling, not creation.

Technorati Tags: George, Lucas, writing, writer, screenwriting, script, screenplay,

Bad Science Fiction

Even the best science fiction hovers on the brink of the absurd. All speculative fiction depends on the reader to be completely in tune with it, with the intent of the writer. Mainstream fiction draws you in, seduces you with the story, whereas, to a certain extent, science fiction demands that you already be seduced, at least by the genre.

Is the genre "significant"? Is it capable of the profound statement, the insightful analysis, deep characters? Of course, but do they matter to the sci-fi reader? Probably not. People do not read sci-fi for its literary qualities. They read it for the escapist, fanciful daydreams that it can conjure up, for the sense of play-acting and childlike abandon than it can summon.

Bad science fiction however, is a creature so pathetic as to be beyond scorn or pity. Bad science fiction can be identified by the opening words and should be dismissed easily and without regret, not unlike used toilet paper or a banana peel. As was previously stated, even good science fiction by talented, smart writers hangs over an abyss of failure, always just barely escapes mocking itself. Writing one is not a project for morons or beginners.

The point of good sci-fi is to lure the reader in, to get him to want see what you have to show, to believe a myth with few real-world handles.. Always difficult, that's why sci-fi readers tend to be dedicated solely to the genre. They already what to see, already want to escape.

Technorati Tags: sci-fi, science-fiction, genre, writer, writing, write, literature, pulp, readers, fan, fanfiction, fiction, books, reading

Writer's Block

There is nothing in the world like writer's block, the only thing you can honestly compare it to is constipation: you know that there is something there that wants to come out but you can't bring it out. The frustration of seeing something worth writing down when you are not in a position to write is likewise unbearable. These two different situations feel like having a word on the tip of your tongue, or thinking of something that you should have said after an emotional argument rolled into one, the frustration of the missed opportunity that you could could have taken advantage of if you had only been a second quicker.

Technorati Tags: writing, writer's+block,

UPBEAT Entertainment News Content Submission

UPBEAT Entertainment News Content Submission Page: "We do not accept or post negative reviews on any subject, our policy is quite simply, 'If you do not like something, don't review it.' We do not accept political or religious opinion columns... or anything that would be considered too edgy or controversial. We are a lighthearted entertainment news publication. We consider ourselves to be fun and wacky. We do not cover anything that would cause anyone to become emotional or violent, or worse yet, both. Think fun. Think lighthearted. "

I have heard about this kind of thing before, but never actually came across it. I did not know that there would any publication with the word "news" in it's masthead that would put this in it's guidelines. It's kind of like a personal ad offering rimjobs.

Technorati Tags: entertainment, writing, writer, journalism, upbeat, writers, guidelines

Abyss & Apex: Magazine of Speculative Fiction

Abyss & Apex: Magazine of Speculative Fiction

Again, more proof that good spec-fic is dead. Read these stories, would a young Stephen King have a chance of being published in these pseudo-mags? Pick any currently successful writer, would they have a shot in Abyss-Apex now? All you see here are dumb, sloppy, derivative 8th grade-style rough-drafts.

Technorati Tags: speculative+fiction, fiction, writer, writing, zine, e-zine, mags, write, Stephen+King, sci-fi, science+fiction

City Slab Magazine Urban tales of the grotesque

City Slab Magazine Urban tales of the grotesque

What you have here is a magazine for the non-readers and dimwits who have effectively killed real horror fiction. It doesn't even rise to the level of mere pulp. Maybe the fact that I would not spend my money on this means that I am out of touch with the market, maybe it means that I have to try to write down to their level more. Vampire fiction! Seriously, only out-of-touch, semi-literate unimaginative teens think this shit is worth reading.

Technorati Tags: horror+fiction, writing, writer, market, fiction, magazine, horror, read, genre, submission

How to boost traffic to your blog - Helium

How to boost traffic to your blog - Helium

If you have a low-traffic blog and you have actively gone about trying to get people to read it then you probably already know all the old tips, reciprocal linkage equals high search engine ranking equals traffic, or, place your URL in the footer of your emails and people you e-mail will click back to it and viola, traffic. The truth is that you would be lucky, in 2007 to get 5 hits a day with those tactics. I have tried every tip to be had for free on the Internet (going back to the old days of the free-for-all pages) and exactly none of them have worked. I have even tried link-rotation programs like Blogazoo, which boost your traffic pyramid-scheme style, you click two links, they send one visitor to your site. The visitors in such schemes are there only to boost their own traffic so they never return. You get a short term rise in your traffic stats and no click-throughs on your ads, or to anything beyond the front page. The truth is that "free" and "quality traffic" do not go together.
Tips:
1) ignore any and all websites promising to send you traffic
2) do not waste your time asking for "reciprocal links" or going Google searches for them. If you are operating a big business-oriented site, maybe, but not for a personal page.
3) Do not e-mail your friends and family soliciting hits for your website. It does not work, and if your blog really is personal, your friends and family are probably the last people you want reading it anyway.

Technorati Tags: blog, blogging, blogger, writing, writer, writes, literature, internet, traffic,

Film Critic Glossary

The statement, "There are many plot holes in this movie" if it occurs without detailed explanation, really just means that the critic can't understand the plot on the first viewing and is not inclined to watch the movie again, not that there are real plot holes. Have you ever known a writer to see a flaw in another writer's work and not be willing to give an in-depth discourse? It sounds better to allude to flaws than to say, "I don't get it."

Mediocrity, Reviews, and the movie, Deja Vu

Note: If you have not seen the movie, the following notes will make no sense to you. You can read a review with a synopsis of the plot here.

It's interesting to see a too-obviously aging Denzel Washington and a pudgy Val Kilmer talking about good looks being lost with time. The movie is smart and definitely for grown-ups, in spite of the things that were obviously toned down to get a PG-13. This could have been one edgy, ugly motherfucker, not unlike Se7en or Hostel. Hollywood guaranteed mediocrity by making the scene of the first explosion easy-to-take, you can't have the scene with burning US servicemen being too ugly. Also, the Timothy McVeigh-like bad-guy shoots a guy before setting him on fire. Another weak, ball-less moment, when Hollywood sacrificed the idea that would have set this movie apart. There is no way that the writers wanted that, it fucked the whole experience. Denzel Washington does his thing from the Pelican Brief and his other more forgettable films where he laughs at odd moments to make the performance seem unpredictable, have a more uneven rhythm, kind of the way Robert Duvall does it. It felt like laughter by a man watching his underachieving career slowly sink in an arctic ocean of young white people. Take it from me, in a couple years Denzel will be playing fatherly school-janitors and other Scatman Crothers-type roles.

The first two-thirds of the movie, including the introduction of the time-machine and the science thereof, is clever, plausible, well-written. Poorly casted because there is nothing about Washington that says to me, ATF Agent, unlike say, Bruce Willis who has law-enforcement tattooed into his DNA. Don't get me wrong, Denzel has the leading-man screen-presence so rare among black actors, just not for this kind of movie. If Will Smith had been better in I, Robot, I would consider him for this part if you definitely had to give it to a black man. Anyway, back to the writing. Well-written up until the bad-guy gets caught two-thirds in, then they don't know where to go. It's clear that they then figured out the ending that they wanted to have (DW and the girl hooking up and driving off into the sunset) and cobbled up some shit to get them there. There are some smart touches, like beaming him into an ER because his heart will stop, but the story never recovers.

What I do like is that nothing is spoon-fed to the audience. It all makes sense, but you have to think, pretty much guaranteeing that the young people going into a PG-13 movie starring Denzel Washington, will be hopelessly lost and confused.

Technorati Tags: movies, screenwriting, writers, denzel+washington, review, deja+vu

Writing Contest with No Entry Fee

Upcoming deadline on 15 September 2007: The Greensboro Review:

THE GREENSBORO REVIEW
Next deadline: 15 September 2007

Here's a link to guidelines for a fiction-writing contest that does not have an entry or reading fee. Got that? No reading fee! Clearly these people are not parasites, unlike the rest of the profit-motivated devisers of writing contests.

Technorati Tags: writing, contest, writers, short, fiction,

Motivation to Write

Motivation to write. If you need "motivation" you probably should not be writing at all. Let me point this out: You don't write because you think that you will be contributing anything of value to the world of literature. Anybody pompous enough to start out with that as their as their inspiration is both a fool and delusional. They also will not write anything good. You don't write to connect with your reader or to entertain or any bullshit like that. You write because it is the best way for you of jacking-off. Self-stimulation, self-satisfaction. You write because you get something from it. That is the only way to write anything worthwhile. Having the talent for writing may actually make your stuff readable for other people. If you start writing for other people, or trying to write well, you are doomed to a future of earnest struggling with words and, of course, complete obscurity. For me to write this blog well, I have to satisfy me, my aesthetic, not yours. Why? Because I don't fucking know you, that's why. I don't know you so who gives a fuck what you like to read? Not me. I happen to like this post, and that's all that matters.

Technorati Tags: writing, motivation, inspiration, read, write, aesthetic, writer

Writing Cover Letters

I seriously fucking hate writing cover-letters for short stories?What is the point? Are they going to acept your work based on the quality of the cover-letter that accpanies it? No, of course not. And why do editors want them? I suppose it signifies that you have put some effort into the submission package and therefore are more likely to be worthy of their attention. It might mean that yours is not a blind submission if you can call the editor by name and put their address somewhere other than on the envelope, but it probably does not. The problem is that you can auto-pilot a coverletter just as easily as you can the rest of the submission.

Note this site of templates for your literary submissions.
Technorati Tags: writing, submission, cover+letter, writer, editor

Get Blog Traffic (no, really)

This site on how to build a high-traffic website will be of interest only to Bloggers, but I think it is genuinely informative, unlike most of the obvious spam/link-bait associated with the topic. This is stuff that might actually work.

Technorati Tags: blogging, traffic, building, build

The Writer's Laxative

Writing a novel is less about attention-span than about having a story that comes to you in such length and complexity that the only way to tell it would be in the form of a novel. I am of the opinion that a story needs to burn it's way out of you. Kind of like a massive and painful shit. You need to feel relieved at the end of it.Unburdened. Yes, I know that all story/defecation analogies have been copyrighted by Stephen King.

Technorati Tags: writing, Stephen, King, novel

Markets

Here are some markets. I don't particularly like this working-writer shit, but it might be useful for some of you. My practical instincts tell me that hacking it out a bit may help with experience and developing a decent work-ethic (part of what this blog is about), but my creative side wants to pop in a clip and go on a crime spree.

Most of these markets are so banal, so weak, that I think you could write them on autopilot if you have experience in the fields, that's primarily what they want, first-hand stuff.

Technorati Tags: writing, writer, markets, submission,

On 7 Ways to Crank Out Articles

7 Ways to Crank Out Articles:

Crank, then revise. Write a shitty first draft, as fast as you can, and then go back over it. But the key is just to get it out. Craft it lovingly afterwards, not during.

Most of this article is not telling most writers anything they don't already know, but this one is a gem.

Technorati Tags: writing, tips, advice, articles

PEN/Faulkner Award

Here were a couple hundred loyal supporters of the prestigious Washington-based fiction prize gathered at the Folger Shakespeare Library to celebrate not one, not two, not three, but four modern masters of a literary art form that remains less visible -- and far less commercial -- than its verbose, bulked-up cousin, the novel.

Who knew? The short story is where you learn to write a novel. In the minimalist, and hopefully, poignant short you learn to send the point across to the reader, to sharpen to blade of your intentions, so to speak.

Also, note:
Amy Hempel was being honored for "The Collected Stories of Amy Hempel," the culmination of more than two decades spent writing only short fiction. A Hempel story will "make you laugh, and a moment later break your heart," novelist Chuck Palahniuk once wrote, going on to explain what reading Hempel makes other writers understand: "You will never write this well."

technorati tags: PEN/Faulkner Award short stories story writer writing
icerocket tags: PEN/Faulkner Award short stories story writer writing

Hacked Saudi Website

A well-known Saudi short story website (www.arabicstory.net) was hacked on Friday by an unidentified group calling itself “Group x 5”.

The website is popular not only in Saudi Arabia but throughout the Arab world and was founded seven years ago by Saudi writer Jubair Al-Milehan, originally from Hail.

The hackers’ statement said that the website was attacked as part of their plan to “delete all Shiite and Zoroastrian websites.” The statement concluded by saying, “This is a lesson for you to teach you not to give your money to a Zoroastrian.”

This is of note because I never thought there was such a thing as a "Saudi Short Story website", let alone that one would be "popular".

Writing Well (Stay out of the rut)

Beware of the Earnest Rut. Good writers who take their work seriously and try hard to write well can fall into a rut of being somewhat well respected but not particularly successful. You wind up writing stories that get accepted to a few litmags or maybe a novel that 15 people have actually read (if you are lucky). You want to avoid writing to be popular as well, which is not unlike sucking dick in a public-toilet stall, meaning soul-killing and dirty. You need to figure out what it that you like about your favorite author's work and purify it, boil it down till it becomes a more potent form. Isolate the good stuff and concentrate it till you find your own formula. Ignore the people in your writer's group.

You have to understand, few people actually enjoy reading these days. For the most part books have just become a slightly more difficult form of TV. the idea is that for a book to be any good it has to be easy to read and have a murder in it, preferably a serial killer and a team of forensic experts.

technorati tags: writer writing James Patterson writing group
icerocket tags: writer writing James Patterson writing group

Amy Hempel, Girl Genius

She is 56. Her flowing hair is silvery-white. Her speech is clear, but careful. She sometimes edits herself as she talks or advances her thoughts as if placing one foot slowly before the other.

Amy Hempel is indeed a brilliant short story writer. Her stories are well written in the way that smart women write, meaning that they are never entertaining or addictive, but she does write well. Sparse, minimalist fiction does not appeal to your average reader (picture anybody who reads James Patterson and put the emphasis on average).

The year I began to say vahz instead of vase, a man I barely knew accidentally killed me.

technorati tags: author writer Amy Hempel writing books reading At the Gates of the Animal Kingdom
icerocket tags: author writer Amy Hempel writing books reading At the Gates of the Animal Kingdom

Freelance writer Marsh wins awards

The Enquirer - Freelance writer Marsh wins awards:

Enquirer contributor Betsa Marsh won several writing awards from the recent competition sponsored by the Society of American Travel Writer Central States Chapter, consisting of more than 20 states including Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana and Tennessee.

This is the kind of thing that gets stay-at-home moms thinking that maybe they too can write. They sit down at their kitchen tables with their laptops and churn out a series of trite stories saying nothing new. They then spam editors with their crap, burying, suffocating, the work of real writers.

Amateur writers are why small mags struggle and why nobody takes unsolicited subs seriously.

Technorati Tags: writer, fiction, marsh, award, submissions, small, mags,

Writer's Market

The value of Writer's Market is questionable, they are relatively expensive to buy new and many of the markets are obsolete by the time the next one comes out. Besides, nobody submits to even 10% of the markets listed. If you write fiction, then you would probably be better off getting last year's Novel and Short Story Writer's Market from Amazon, but the best thing you could do is just invest some time in doing web searches. Research markets for your work.

Technorati Tags: writer's, market, writing, submission, submitting, publish, publisher, fiction

Hollywood Writer's Strike

Hollywood studios are speeding production on movies and TV shows, preparing for a possible strike by writers and more trouble next year when contracts with actors and directors expire.

TV networks, which are in the midst of planning fall schedules, also might pack their lineups with more reality shows and other unscripted fare as protection against a possible strike.

"It's simply sound business," said J. Nicholas Counter, president of the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, which negotiates on behalf of the studios.

5 unusual tips for getting published

The thing about editors is that anybody can claim to be one. I could start a website right now and publish my own set of writer's guidelines. Starting an e-zine is often a refuge of the not-particularly-successful writers, the person you have looking at your work is also your competition. Do you see what's wrong with this?

The keys to finding online markets for your work:

1. Know your market. Every magazine or e-zine is going to say "read before you submit", mostly so that you will buy back-copies or give them hits, but there is merit to this idea.
Avoid magazine that publish the same set of writers over and over again. It usually means the editors are promoting their own clique, or that the editors are publishing their own work under pen-names.

2. Never ever submit to an e-zine or magazine that does not pay you for your work. The value of having your name on the Internet is questionable, you are providing free content for publishers. Why would you do this?

3. Try find out who your editors are and search their names. If they are also writers, read their work. Try to see why this person is editing and not only writing. You want to be better than them. You also want to figure out their aesthetic, what will appeal to them.

4. Keep in mind that no writer is going to be all that happy publishing work that is better than theirs. Keep in similar in tone, but throw in some flaws that will make them feel good (you are good but I am still better).

5. If a market tells you to not send them simultaneous submissions, do it any way, but keep a record in case you have to withdraw the piece at a later date.

Technorati Tags: writing, writer, writers, advice, markets, publishing, getting+published, ezine, magazine, editor,

Blogging Starter Checklist

Blogging Starter Checklist on Squidoo:

Things to do on your blog
1. Enable search on your blog

Again, search should be a standard feature for any website. Your blogging provider would normally provide the feature. You just have to find out how to enable it for your blog.

2. Link to your profile

Write up your introduction "elevator pitch" and link it from your blog. People want to know who you are. Celebrity bloggers can ignore this comment :)

3. Provide a way to contact you

Other than posting comments on your blog, provide a way (email, phone or both) for your readers to connect with you. I have made quite a few new friends from all over the world.

Squidoo is the kind of list that might be useful to novice users of the Internet, like your old Aunt Carol going online for the very first time. It's not particularly enlightening, but I suppose that this list could be useful to some people.

Technorati Tags: writing, writer, internet, blogging, blogger, new+blog, New+blogger

Writer's Database

Writer's Database- Online submission tool and market database.
Useful online tool. I have no idea how long this will be around, and there are potential dangers in not backing your records up, but on its face this is a very good idea.

Technorati Tags: writer, submissions, markets

Market Search Tip

One of the things that has helped me with Internet searching is to enter a site that I alread know has the right anwer in with my search term. Let's say that I am looking for information on "writer's markets" and I have already found a good page for that, say, Spicy Green Iguana, but I want more, so I look for "writer's markets" + "Spicy Green Iguana". Nothing fancy, but it does help narrow your search.

Technorati Tags: writing, search+terms, writer's+markets